2016 Winter Retreat by Pneuma Fellowship

To give some context, several years ago I was working through my fatherless status. I had finally acknowledged that I do not know the first thing about being a man, let alone a godly one. It was around that time that God was ministering to me through Hosea. He began to show me that I had been trying to grow up on my own and it was not working, but He had every ability to be a capable father to me.

That journey has been continuing and currently I’ve been in a place of exploring with God, “What kind of man do I need and want to become?” I’ve been asking God to illuminate people and characteristics that I can draw from, qualities that He wants me to admire and practice. The retreat was a blessing in many ways, but one of the primary ways was that God was showing me that He is still steadily on the mission He set on years earlier. He’s been responding to my prayer and illuminating people and characteristics.

As I was listening through Pastor Bert’s sermons and the ways God was working in his life, he was illuminated to me as someone to observe during the retreat. When he was sharing the reasons for his church being called Heaven Light, I was sold. I need to become someone who navigates this world and lives in it as someone who sees with spiritual eyes. This was reinforced and coupled with God reminding me of the need for humility. Just like the leper in his need and desperation was able see the Lordship of Jesus when others could not, I too need to keep kneeling, and asking, and hungering after Jesus.

- Tim Hwang

I Am by Pneuma Fellowship

I am three. I learned that my dad comes to comfort me when I call for him because I am scared of silent morning. I am four. I learned that dancing and singing in front of people is fun. My family is smiling as they are watching me and that makes me happy. I am five. I learned that I shouldn't easily trust people. I am six. I learned that I need to keep silent. It is not worth being rejected and ignored. I am seven. I learned that I need to act like I am happy because everyone else is having a hard time. I need to be cheerful in order to make others happy. I am eight. I still live in denial and I am keeping myself silent. I still believe and follow what I was taught at six. I am ten. I learned that not everything lasts forever. I can lose things and people very quickly. I am sixteen. I learned that I am insecure and this is not good. Apparently, God exists who can love me no matter what. I am seventeen. I learned that my Father still comes to comfort me when I call out for Him. I am not a burden unto Him and He can handle my mess. I am eighteen. I learned that I don't need to be silent. I am not going to be rejected or ignored when I go to my Father. He is attentive, loving, and caring. I am nineteen. I learned that I shouldn't live in denial. He wants to set me free and show me greater things.

- Esther Park

I Am by Pneuma Fellowship

I am the wind; Blustery, confused, and spontaneous.
My life has been a hurricane; Reliving it would be dangerous.
Yet, I am the calm of the storm; serene behind the destruction.
A blissful escape is my ignorant distraction.
I am dynamic.
The thunder in my soul divulges in havoc.
The weather in my heart is like the rain and never stops crying
My children of today, what am I implying?
-A cloak of emotion
-A frantic masquerade
-A river in the desert
For adults of tomorrow, in these meanings am I qualifying?
But the weather changes so as people do
Remember to bring a sweater: climate is due.
I am from the Earth, known to be self reliant and distinguished
I am as lonely as the clouds; leading a vagrant gypsy life I am relinquished
I am a crooked path: people find themselves lost, I find myself abandoned, but full of memories
Diseased from remedies
My heart is clenched like a fist
A self-defense
A false pretense
A doctor’s prescription list.
I am an exaggerated prologue
My story originated from God
Albeit I do not know the words
But the poet’s voice leads us in herds
So we may heal and share differing breakthroughs
Individual perspectives and peer reviews
Unfolding various acts of love which we now perform
And thus, we, God’s people, are kindly reborn

- Phoebe Martin