I Am / by Pneuma Fellowship

I am three. I learned that my dad comes to comfort me when I call for him because I am scared of silent morning. I am four. I learned that dancing and singing in front of people is fun. My family is smiling as they are watching me and that makes me happy. I am five. I learned that I shouldn't easily trust people. I am six. I learned that I need to keep silent. It is not worth being rejected and ignored. I am seven. I learned that I need to act like I am happy because everyone else is having a hard time. I need to be cheerful in order to make others happy. I am eight. I still live in denial and I am keeping myself silent. I still believe and follow what I was taught at six. I am ten. I learned that not everything lasts forever. I can lose things and people very quickly. I am sixteen. I learned that I am insecure and this is not good. Apparently, God exists who can love me no matter what. I am seventeen. I learned that my Father still comes to comfort me when I call out for Him. I am not a burden unto Him and He can handle my mess. I am eighteen. I learned that I don't need to be silent. I am not going to be rejected or ignored when I go to my Father. He is attentive, loving, and caring. I am nineteen. I learned that I shouldn't live in denial. He wants to set me free and show me greater things.

- Esther Park